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Love isn’t all you need

Posted by Chance on November 6, 2007

In my Sunday School class we are going over the Love and Respect series by Emerson Eggerichs. The idea of the series is that it focuses on a key verse on marriage in the Bible from Ephesians 5:33:

Nevertheless, each one of you must also love his own wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

As most marriage books/videos do, the series talks about the need for a husband to love his wife, but it also focuses on another key aspect of a successful marriage – that a wife respect her husband.

Women should love their husbands, and husbands respect their wives, but the idea is that women are naturally loving, and men are naturally respectful, so they may not tend to give their spouse exactly what they need.

The idea of what respect looks like is less certain than love, at least to me and many others. Some people, such as myself, believe the husband is the head of the household under Christ, and part of this respect is a recognition of that position. But even if you tend to be more liberal in thought regarding family structure, you could still appreciate the idea of respect, in that a husband wants to be admired and not looked down upon. I think men want to be treated in a way that say, other people at work treat him. I was with a group of guys once at a former church, and one of their complaints about their wives was that at times they talked to the men, they talked to them in a disrespectful way that other men wouldn’t dare talk to them.

I just wanted to touch on this idea a little bit. This doesn’t mean that women don’t deserve respect and men don’t deserve love, I just believe this verse just focuses on needs of our spouse we tend to overlook. And respect doesn’t mean the man can never be challenged or called out if he does something wrong; people have taken this idea to the extreme and made respect equate with control. At the same time, we are also a love-saturated society. The idea of respect is often not talked about. Love isn’t all you need.

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3 Responses to “Love isn’t all you need”

  1. Neil said

    Good post, Chance, as usual. I use this verse when teaching a “Man to Man” class for the husbands/boyfriends of CareNet Pregnancy Center clients. I mainly focus on the “husbands love your wives” part, but the theme works on the respect section as well.

    Are wives always lovable? No. Does the Bible say we don’t have to love them at those times? No, we need to love them all the time. Same thing for women respecting men.

    If couples practiced these concepts marriages would be transformed in a hurry.

  2. Lee said

    So when it comes to marriage, less John Lennon, and more Aretha Franklin.

    Though some Marvin Gaye is always helpful. “Let’s get it on…”

  3. Chance said

    Lee,
    Interestingly enough, it was Otis Knight who wrote “Respect”. If I’m not mistaken, he also sang it first, but it wasn’t nearly successful as Aretha.

    And yes, “getting it on” is always important. And the Bible seems to agree. Who couldn’t get on board with a Holy Book that devotes an entire book to that topic?

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