Zoo Station

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Live blogging on "Face/Off"

Posted by Chance on November 12, 2006

7:36 PM – John Travolta and Nicholas Cage meet in a Catholic Church for a good old gunfight.

7:38 PM – Travolta and Cage shoot at each other a bunch of times and miss. Religious figures are shattered with bullets.

7:40 PM – Cage’s character, who was actually Travolta’s character before they switched faces,’s daughter shows up at the church, for absolutely no reason at all, except to ultimately serve as the chick leverage that bad guys always use against the good guys.

7:41 PM – Daughter goes through the confusing ordeal of not knowing who her father is. After all, Cage is now wearing Travolta’s face (not really, but according to the movie – this would be less confusing if I knew the character’s names, not the actors). Anyway, she goes through the dilemna in which their father’s arch-nemesis stole the father’s face, and the father stole the face of his arch-nemesis, and she of course, doesn’t know who to shoot. This may have to do with why the CIA no longer engage in face-swapping operations.

7:43 P.M. – Daughter stabs Travolta (the bad guy, at least for now) in the leg, based on a trick that Travolta taught her earlier when a guy tries to have inappropriate relations with her. Oh the delicious irony.

7:48 P.M. – Somehow the battle has moved from a gunfight to a speedboat chase, but I missed exactly how this happened. Apparently two speedboats next to each other have keys. Now they are shooting each other while on speedboats. Will Cage go for the ram-the-speedboat-into-the-other-speedboat maneuver, or continue to shoot and miss?

7:51 P.M. – Their boats crashed while flying high through the air, so now they are in a shipyard punching each other. This fight has everything – a gunfight in a church, followed by a speed boat chase, and topped off by hand-to-hand combat with a harpoon involved.

7:53 P.M. – Cage, who was Travolta, finally kills Travolta, formerly Cage, with the harpoon.

7:55 P.M. – Travolta, who was Cage, is back, with the correct face. The weird part is that his wife and daughter first see him for the first time post-“return to original face” as he walks through their front house door. I would think that whenever I have a face transplant, that my wife would actually be at the hospital waiting for me, not waiting for the cab to drop me off. The daughter no longer has a nosering, which implies that her inner demons that have resulted from her previously neglectful father have been purged. Once more, Travolta brings home a new kid to replace the one that Cage had killed. Apparently the first time the rest of the family have met new kid. I think if I ever adopted, I would include my wife in the ordeal, but then it wouldn’t have the same dramatic effect.

8:00 PM – Movie over, maybe watch “The Mummy Returns”. Whatever happens, the night includes DiGornio’s. (I’m on travel currently if you are wondering why I have this spare time. My wife’s cooking usually rivals frozen pizza.)

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One Response to “Live blogging on "Face/Off"”

  1. Neil said

    Is it just me, or was that the worst plot ever? It is hard to believe the script ever got approved.

    I’m glad you picked up on the adoption thing at the end. The fact that his wife just said, “Sure, let’s keep him” is possibly more far-fetched than the switching of the faces!

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